Pearls of Wisdom: A Background
On my very first ship as a midshipman, I had no idea about ships or life at sea. I was very fortunate to have a chief mate there who sort of took me under his wing. Often, he would give me “Pearls of Wisdom” . . . I think the name sort of made him chuckle because it was nautical in nature, and we were on a ship . . . yeh, people at sea are like that. But I will never forget them, and I have found many new “Pearls of Wisdom” on my journey since then. These posts shall be my attempt to share these “Pearls” with my fellow millennials and any other interested parties.
The First Pearl
“James,” he said, “Not everyone is going to love you.” He had just gotten done yelling at me for something I did wrong as a cadet. . . I wasn’t a very good cadet, I thought, I was always doing something stupid, despite my best efforts. But his words stuck. Not everyone is going to love you. Our parents, guardians, and teachers forged a world early on for us that was protected and sheltered – they encouraged us to be the best at everything we could be, and that no matter what, they would love us in whatever we did.
But that is not the way the world works. People will not stand by to hear your dreams and share in your sadness. They will not stand by and listen to your excuses, they will not pat you on the back for a good job. You will not be able to please all of them. But, as a leader, you can sure as heck try.
The Millennial Objective
Every millennial should keep this “Pearl of Wisdom” in mind when dealing with others. . . You are always going to experience conflict with others, there is always going to be someone out there who thinks differently than you do, there is always going to be someone out there who perceives you completely different than you or your friends do.
The first step is to recognize and acknowledge this. The second, and perhaps the hardest step, is to not let it get to you. When we are self-conscious about getting everyone to like us, we often compromise many of our beliefs and standards. A leader, without good reason, should never step down from his or her standards just to get people to like him or her. You may have heard “It’s lonely at the top.” This expression could not be more right.
Think about it as if you, the leader, were sitting on top of the hill. Your followers are all over the hill from the bottom to right under you, but only you are capable of seeing the whole picture. Do you appease them, try your best to get them to like you? Sure - but only if doing so doesn’t make you blind to what you are seeing up there. Chances are. . . what you see will not make them happy. Leadership will be your job. Leadership will be for you to inspire as many of them as you can. You will burn some bridges along the way – and that’s ok. . . because not everyone is going to love you.
